January 31, 2013

redemption

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ever have one of those days that just doesn't start right? man i've been having a lot of those lately!!!! i immediately feel overwhelmed & annoyed with everyone in my home. it's like i'm looking for someone to be upset with. & yes, a lot of physical things could add to this attitude... lack of sleep, not making time for time with the Lord, fussy/sick children, not getting as much quality time with husband. but there is NO excuse to treat my family like this. really there's no reason to be so annoyed & have such an angry outlook on my day... i have been given sooooo much! i found myself, just this morning, getting so frustrated with their sin toward each other & their lack of obedience & respect for me. i was taking it personally that they weren't listening to me & i was raising my voice because they weren't responding to my instruction. 

way too often i give into despair. i think... "ah, i've ruined the day! there's no hope! i can't wait for this day to be over!" but by God's grace & strength, WE CAN REDEEM OUR DAYS!!! even on the worst day... even if it's in the afternoon & we've been frustrated all day... it's not too late to repent before the Lord & to our children & change the way we are handling things. we HAVE to make the choice... things won't change on their own. 

so this morning i was annoyed & i felt like living in that frustrated/annoyed state all day... but i knew it wasn't helping anyone! & wow how our attitude affects the whole family!!!! i took the boys into their room, i sat on their bed (so i was at their level), i lined them up in front of me, i had them put their toys away (so they knew this was important) & i asked them to look me in the eye... then i repented. i said, "boys, do you remember how mommy has been angry with you all morning?" obviously, they all said, "yes." ;) & then i said, "mommy was wrong, i shouldn't have treated you like that. i sinned against you & against God when i was angry with you. will you forgive me?" & i asked each one individually to forgive me & i told each of them that i loved them & loved being their mommy & we gave hugs. immediately the atmosphere in our home was lighter & peaceful. PRAISE THE LORD FOR HIS GRACE!!!! He never gives up on us!!! just because i'm 28 does not mean i have it together. just because i have 3 little ones, i have not arrived. i am a sinner & so desperately in need of Him EVERY MINUTE!!!! & believe me there are far too many days & moments that i don't fall on His grace! i don't repent! i pray that by His sanctifying work in me He will give me grace to get over my pride & tell my family & Him i was wrong & need forgiveness. 

cling to Him today mommies & sisters & friends!!! WE CANNOT DO ANY OF THIS WELL WITHOUT HIM!
al

16 comments:

Très bien said...

Yes and Amen. Thank you for sharing. I find myself in this state too often as well. Thank you for reminding me that the days can be redeemed!

allison barker said...

:)

Becca said...

Allison,

Thanks so much for sharing! I have so many mornings like this, and am so thankful for the reminder that by His grace those mornings do not have to define our days!

Marisha said...

Those rough mornings where we sin against our children are so hard. I too, have apologized on many occasions. It's humbling and beautiful to be able to do that. I thank God for the grace he gives us to just admit when we are wrong and (hard as it is sometimes) choose to do right for the rest of the day. You are right, it is a choice we make. Praise God that we can do ALL things through Christ who gives us strength. Sorry to be so lengthy, but I'm passionate about this too. :) Thank you for sharing your heart.

Becca Swan said...

I SO needed this this morning, Al! Our day started out much the same as yours, but with God's grace and patience I'm hoping for a better afternoon!

Deanne Marie said...

I seriously loved this post. What a great truth to speak to your sisters in the blogger world. I loved how you repented to your kiddos so quickly and honestly. What a great example you set for your kids in the future. Stay blessed.

xoxo
Deanne

Like an infinite fall said...

You should write a book! I would totally buy it, you are so good to give nice exemple that are reliable!

Have a nice day!

ashlee danielle said...

Oh my word,this was exactly what I needed right now. I've been in one of those moods for a few days now and even worse tonight...until I read this. Thank you for sharing your beautiful heart!
Ashlee @ We are the Sea.

christiems said...

Such good words...definitely applicable to me right now!!

I recently read something similar, and I think you'll appreciate it: http://www.ccef.org/jbc/parenting-god-s-kingdom-not-my-own

Pearl said...

well said dear.
amen to that.
u are adorable and I'm loving what i'm reading!

astr!d said...

you are so right! its really really hard to be a mom. everything depends on us and we don't have time to be frustrated, or tired, or whiney, or anything other than spot on. and its exhausting!!!!! its a lot ofpressure to be mom, and i think this confession is absolutely beautiful and i thank you for it!!!

Brittney Lynn Stasi said...

This was me this morning! And lots of times! Thank you for the honesty and the wisdom!

Brittney Lynn Stasi said...

Al,
I was wondering if you could recommend an agency that you have used with adopting or that you think would be good.
Thank You,
Brit

Cara Howard said...

I am absolutely and insanely in love with the truth you shared in this post. I JUST found your blog today and couldn't be happier that God led me here. xoxo

allison barker said...

thank u thank u! i'm sooo glad u ladies are here to share in their journey with me! i'd love to take a look at your blogs!

Lacy said...

I so relate Allison! And have had many of the same feelings. Being a mom is so tough! Looking forward to reading your blog!

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