April 30, 2012

my heart...

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(photos from easter sunday)
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as our family approaches many changes in our life 
(& have currently approached one, since we are in uganda getting amos)
my heart has been so so sad. 
michael & i both don't handle change very well, but the change of moving away from memphis has been a difficult change to embrace. we will be leaving the only home our boys have ever known, all our dear friends, the place michael & i started our relationship & family & a sweet sweet season for the barkers.
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2 weeks ago i realized i was grieving this loss. i didn't have much of an appetite & i felt sad all day long. 
i know He has good for us & not harm. i know that He has amazing plans ahead for our family.
things i wouldn't believe if i saw them now. i have much peace this week. thank You Jesus!
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i grieve for my boys (jude mainly) because he really doesn't handle change well. we had some guys working on our flowerbed a few weeks ago & he stood at the window & cried because he didn't want them to "change" our yard. :( sweet boy. we tried to explain to him that they were making our yard look better & it would be good, better than what we had. he just cried & cried & didn't understand.
so it is with our gracious & good Father... He brings along new things & works in us to make things "better than what we have" & we don't understand & we cry & we try to hold on tightly to the things/places/people/season we have now. but we HAVE to trust Him. there's nothing else we can do. 
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He knows what's good for us... & we do not. years, months & even just weeks from now i will look back at "our flowerbed" & see how the Lord uprooted many things in our lives & planted new things. & it will have felt uncomfortable in the moments of His working, but IT WILL BE GOOD!!!
i know this to be true.
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al


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2 comments:

The Popes said...

Oh girl! That flower analogy is GOOD! If we only knew what He has in store! I appreciate your honesty. Praying for your transition

Bethany Erin said...

needed that today. love you. praying for you all.

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