December 18, 2011

i am a sinner in need of a Savior

wow. i feel so overwhelmed with my sin & my darkness today. lately the Lord has brought my self righteousness & works righteousness to the surface & made me so very aware of it. i've been asking Him to bring humility to my proud heart. there is NO good in me apart from Christ! my righteousness is filthy rags (not much pretty about filthy rags), Isaiah 64:6. & yet i boast in what i can do. thoughts consume my mind about what others think of my accomplishments & the fruits of my labor.
"but the Lord said to Samuel, 'do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. for the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.' " 1 Samuel 16:7
my heart is all that matters to my sweet gracious Father. who i am & what i can do, even what i can do for Christ DOES NOT COME CLOSE TO WHAT HE'S DONE FOR ME!!!!!! a sweet babe born to bring salvation to this wretched heart. the law shows me my need for my Savior. i cannot keep it. I NEED HIM! i need His grace every second.
if you can picture this... me, an independent/strong woman walking along in life i have everything together i can hold my family together, make my kids obey, keep the house clean, be nice to people, smile a lot... but just since we lost our Caroline & my mom i've learned that it's ONLY because of Him that i can smile, that i have reason to smile. that i can take the next step. that i train my children & that they know they cannot keep the "rules" without Him & He is the reason why we do any of this... it's not to please ANYONE ELSE!!!!!! i'm 27 & i've known this truth, but i'm just now letting it change me.
our Jesus is so so good! He washes us clean! He paid our debt that we may stand before God Almighty white as snow. no stains, no darkness. we find life at His cross.
advent this year has so changed the way i see Christmas & Christ's coming. thank You Father!

listen to this song & let your heart rejoice in what He has done for us.

We are not what we should be 
We haven’t sought what we should seek 
We’ve seen Your glory, Lord, but looked away 
Our hearts are bent, our eyes are dim 
Our finest works are stained with sin 
And emptiness has shadowed all our ways 

Jesus Christ, shine into our night 
Drive our dark away 
Till Your glory fills our eyes 
Jesus Christ, shine into our night 
Bind us to Your cross, where we find life 

Still we often go astray 
We chase the world, forget Your grace 
But You have never failed to bring us back 
Reveal the depths of what You’ve done 
The death You died, the vict’ry won 
You made a way for us to know Your love


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