June 26, 2011

constant & steady

for my first real post I wanted to write about the dearest thing to my heart, on this earth… 
my handsome husband, michael. I adore this man more than I ever thought was possible. 
my respect for him is huge. he is such a clear picture of Christ’s sacrificial love for the 
church. I never knew “laying down your life for another” before him. when I was younger 
I would pray for my future husband & daydream about him all the time. I even made a list 
of characteristics that I would value in a husband. :) the Lord has so clearly blessed me 
with the man I prayed for, & more than I could’ve asked for or dreamed of. I rejoice in 
the goodness of the Father & His timing. 
our story (the short version)…mike went to Teen Mania’s internship in january of 2002. 
the Lord led me to skip my junior year of high school so I could finish early & go to the 
internship in the fall of 2002. we never met each other during that year, but I knew who 
he was because he led worship on campus. mike went home after he graduated in january 
of 2003. then we both ended up, by the sovereignty of God, on the same ministry team 
for acquire the fire in august of 2003. again, we didn’t really know each other that year, 
but got to know each other better toward the end of the year. our year on the road was 
going to be over in august of 2004 & both of us had a desire to pursue training in worship 
leading. during one of our breaks from the road, he was in michigan & I was in alabama, 
we separately found out about visible school in memphis. (tell me that’s not the Lord!) 
we decided to go to visible in august 2004 & our relationship began to grow. we became 
really good friends, and really liked each other, OBVIOUSLY. ;) michael asked my dad 
if he could court me in january of 2005. then he asked me to marry him in march of 2006. my 
mom became very sick with brain cancer during our courtship & engagement & the Lord 
grew us through trials. those were some of the hardest times of my life thus far & I was so 
grateful for michael in my life. he was constant & steady for me. we married atop a cold 
mountain in alabama on november 11, 2006. we got pregnant a month after we got 
married. those 9 months were a time of growth for me because I wasn’t “ready to be 
pregnant yet”, I didn’t want to have “a mom’s body”, I wanted years to “enjoy being 
married” before we had kids… ridiculously selfish of me. the Lord grew my heart for 
this sweet girl that was being formed in me. our caroline was born into the arms of Jesus 
on september 15, 2007. He took her straight home to be with Him & worship Him forever. 
I had never known pain & sorrow like that before. it was so hard to wake up each 
morning & even take a breath. our hearts hurt so deeply, but it made it a little more 
bearable having my caring/compassionate/tender husband to weep with me & hold me 
close. (I will post more about caroline later.) 
all that to say… I am so grateful that the Lord gave me michael to do life with. I can’t imagine 
experiencing joy & pain with anyone else. I rejoice in my husband daily for all he does 
for us. He works so hard to provide for our family & strives to seek & please the Lord in 
all things. I am blessed. when I dreamt about my someday husband, when I first met him 
at teen mania… I had no idea what the Lord had in store for us & we still cling to the Lord 
knowing that His purposes are good, His timing is perfect & we desire His will alone.
"we're adrift on a sailboat
my love is the sea
yours is the horizon
constant and steady

darling, your love is healing
it makes the bitter sweet
warms the winter to spring again
secures the colds defeat

we're cutting anchor
casting out into the glorious deep
the tide is out, the moon is high
we're sailing" -brooke fraser

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